You can’t say someone is a mature person just because they’re 40; maturity has nothing to do with age. There are some factors that make a person psychologically and emotionally strong.
If you ask what maturity is, my answer is simple: ‘the phase when you learn to accept responsibility with a smile and without feeling burdened’. ‘The phase when you remain calm although your heart and mind are feeling a Tsunami’. ‘The phase when you don’t have any problem with letting go.’
Nobody is born with these qualities, which are included in my answer.
Life is not easy. A person must face many ups and downs from birth to death, and those situations teach them different lessons. Each event teaches a unique lesson, and each lesson is packed with maturity. The more lessons, the more maturity.
Here are the factors that make a person Mature
Maturity brings inner peace because you are at that stage when you understand all the perspectives of life. It makes you emotionally, psychologically, and mentally strong and stable. These are the factors:
1. Maturity comes from Hurt and rejection.
Hurt and rejection feel like an injection of pain in the heart, but it also makes you stronger. There is always a reason you are rejected and hurt. There is always a reason for rejection and hurt, and that is a flaw or weakness.
Until everything is going well, you think you are the best, you are the superior. But when someone points out your reality, you start to realise something.
Let me explain a brief toxic story;
A girl loved a boy with her heart. She appreciated him, cared for him. That boy started to think he was a king. But in reality, the girl loved him not because he was special by birth, but because she had feelings for him. That proud boy never appreciated that girl. Never thanked for her love, finally, that girl took all the appreciation from him and left him.
It was hard for the boy to accept rejection from that girl who loved him from the heart, only to get the same love in return. The toxic boy begged for the same love, but the girl is gone. From that day, the boy became emotionally mature.
Yes, maturity is when you don’t repeat a mistake because you have already made it and got a nasty experience.
That is just an example.
Rejection can come from anywhere, but there is always a reason. It can be from a job, a relationship, a family, society, a friendship, and so on.
The person who is mature later accepts that ‘I have a flaw or I have made mistakes.’ And this realisation led him toward acceptance.
2. Maturity comes from Mistakes.
Mistakes are the greatest life lesson givers.
One guy failed a job interview. Not because he was not prepared, but because he took it lightly. He attended an interview in informal dress. He understood that being talented is not enough; manners also matter.
A guy had a dog. The dog was more than his family to him. His best friend. One day, the dog went out of the house because the door was open. The other street dogs made him fully injured. First, he did some home treatment for 5 days. When he showed the condition was becoming critical, he was taken to the hospital. But the dog died because he didn’t get the right treatment on time.
Although that situation gave him trauma, his intellectual capacity was enhanced that day. He became more cautious.
A person makes thousands of mistakes in his life, and each mistake leads him toward maturity. Mistakes force the person to say ‘My bad, I will never do that again.’
The more mistakes, the more lessons. The more lessons a person gets, the wiser he becomes.
3. Maturity comes when you realise it’s too late.
You might have seen people wandering in their 30s; No goals, no ambition, just living a random life. I don’t call them lazy, but immature, who haven’t understood the worth of time.
Time doesn’t wait for anyone, and each minute is an opportunity. But most of the time we invest this precious asset in doormating, making unnecessary people happy, blaming, and escaping responsibilities.
These kinds of habits give short-term happiness and satisfaction. But in the long run, the person has to swim in the river of regrets. That regret makes the person grown up.
When you realise that it is too late to start, your consciousness opens.
When you realise it is too late for earning, to establish a family, to save a relationship, to make a career, to make friends, then you understand the value of time.
This is not the end. Some people lose hope and become victims of self-doubt. But those who accept their mistake and accept responsibility sound like this:
See, I was 20, and how quickly I have turned 30. Quickly, I will become 40, 50. But still, I have not achieved anything. But no worries, it is never too late to start a good thing. I wasted time, I learned lessons, now I will continue and become unstoppable.
4. Maturity comes when you become independent.
You might have seen someone who lives far from their parents for different purposes is wiser than those who live in a comfort zone. And those are more mature who earn from themselves to pay their expenses.
When you have to do everything alone, you become a stronger and calmer person. You took care of yourself while you were sick; you cooked for yourself, managed your rented house, and spent most of your time alone.
All these things give you many practical lessons to survive. You have the skills to solve issues because you have already solved them without anyone’s help.
If you have lived most of your life independently, you are mature; you are a protector; you are a skilled survivor.
These people don’t seek validation, have a high level of self-confidence, leadership, and emotional intelligence.
It is difficult to manage everything without assistance, but they did it. This helps them to grow faster.
5. Maturity comes when you lose your favourite things.
Until we are immature, we think that we will live here forever. We remain unavailable to our loved ones, show toxic behavior and forget to return their love. Yes, we don’t take care of things which we have right now.
But when time steals those things from us, we understand how important they were in our lives.
Losing favourite things makes a person emotionally mature, and he understands the other side of the time that nothing is permanent. The person learns to accept reality, take care of things next time, and become wise and humble.
6. Maturity comes when you explore more
The person who has explored many things in life is more mature than those who live within boundaries. Exploration can be of anything: people, places and things.
When you travel a lot and experience different cultures and lifestyles, you gain new knowledge. Oh, this also happens? I had never imagined that this also exists on this planet. This changed my point of view.
When you connect with many people, you understand human behaviour. You understand that not everyone is like you; everyone has different opinions, perceptions, and attitudes. It makes you more cautious, thoughtful and clever. It helps you filter fake and real relationships; you don’t trust everyone, which makes you secure.
If you explore more things, you learn to invest your assets wisely.
For example, you purchased 10 smartphones of different brands; the price was the same for all. But you find that one brand is better than another. What happens? You become aware of the product, what to purchase, and how much.
Yes, the man who has made tons of experiments in his life is highly mature and smart. Because he has the knowledge of outcome.
Final Thought: Maturity is Sure
You may think you are mature, but judge yourself when you are stuck in a problem. How do you react? If you solve the problem wisely without blaming anyone, you have already reached another stage of life.
A newborn child doesn’t know the taste of fire. His parents try to keep him away from it and teach them not to touch it because it is very hot and may damage your skin.
But a curious child doesn’t understand what his parents are trying to teach them. If not today, tomorrow, he touches that fire and knows the meaning of hot.
Something happens with us.
You might not be mature now, but sooner or later, faster or slower, you will be. Everyone makes mistakes, and mistakes lead you to maturity.
Some people are fully grown in their 40s, while others are before their teenage years. It is all about how many life exams you passed, how many difficulties you solved, and how well you self-realised.
Finally, self-realisation is the most important stage of your life, which leads you to maturity. Mistakes give lessons(Experiences), which may not be enough. But self-realisation helps you to use that lesson to live a peaceful and wise life.