Have you ever been rejected, and did you learn anything from that experience? Trust me, rejection is an experience that hurts you badly, creating thousands of questions in your mind, why? I was fully prepared, but why? I did my best, but why? How am I judged? Shall I try again? So on…
In my opinion, the reason for this is Investment.
Investment is a highly popular term in the business and financial world. But, subtly, this word plays a big role in our daily life from birth to the end.
Let me explain clearly;
I already mentioned that rejection hurts most, more than anything. It kills self-confidence and creates deep self-doubt. The more you have invested, the deeper it hurts.
I am not talking about financial investment, but emotional and psychological investment. And later, this converts into expectation. When the expectations are not met, that is what we call rejection.
First example,
Once, a guy decided to prepare for a Bank job. To secure that job, he read books for 10 hours a day for a year. Always thought he was the best and would surely get the job. He invested all his time and energy in that, with full hope. Successfully, he passed the written exam, but he failed the interview. That event was a nightmare for him. He had not expected he would be rejected, but it happened.
Later, he said that he cried for many days because of that failure, that rejection. He continued, I spent all my time without seeing hunger and mental exhaustion, even I cut connection with all my friends, but I got pain in return. Then again, he continued, next time I surely get that job.
Another story;
A girl was deeply in love with a boy. She cared too much for him, became available at any time, and supported him emotionally and financially. Even though her parents didn’t accept that relationship, she continued with trust. All the time and effort sacrificed for her for many years. But the boy married another girl.
After that heavy and cruel rejection in love, that innocent girl experienced trauma and depression. She became a totally different person after that. Her emotions changed badly, and her behaviour became weird. That rejection almost made her mad because she had invested herself. But her expectations went against her.
Yes, there are thousands of examples where you may have made an investment but have been rejected and experienced severe pain, but the good thing is that you learn something.
Why are you rejected? What is the problem?
These may be the reasons for facing rejection:
1. Preparation is still incomplete.
You may think you are fully prepared, but there may be something you failed to notice. You failed to notice because you evaluated yourself from your side, not others.
For example, I feel I am handsome. I have a well-balanced face; everything is almost perfect. But other people don’t see me as handsome. Here, the problem arises. In my point of view, but people don’t see me as I do. And an interesting thing is that rejection comes from others.
I hope you understood something. You have prepared for everything, but not what the accepting party wants. And we don’t call it full preparation, and rejection is almost 50%.
2. You made a wrong decision.
The result is always uncertain. The decision doesn’t guarantee the profit as you expected. Even if the right decision fails to deliver the optimum result, what if your decision is already wrong?
You are born with special and unique qualities. But most of your time is ruined because you decided to do something because your near and dears asked/forced you to do. Or, you compared yourself with others. Or, you selected something that doesn’t match your personality, hobbies, and goals.
3. You are still too immature to hold that forever.
Earning is easy, but retaining it is hard. At some point in your life, you will face rejection because you are not yet mature enough to hold on to something. You will not be rejected by anyone but time because time wants you to learn how to hold it after being accepted.
Maturity is the condition in which you understand the value of things, relationships, and your responsibilities. And it comes from experiences. If you are not experienced enough, you don’t know how to deal, and if you don’t know how to deal, then ignorance is sure.
Here is a brief story;
There was a nice guy. He was hardworking. His hard work paid off, and he got a job in good company at an early age. But the problem was that he was highly helpful and never said no to anyone. Everyone benefited from his goodness, and finally, he was fired from the company. He was fired because the company. Later, he said, I wish I were a bit stricter.
4. You deserve better
You will get what you deserve. Until then, you will get rejections. There are thousands of success stories that mention I was rejected many times before building this legacy.
Sometimes you lose your life path and walk in a path full of thorns with positive expectation. However, time knows everything and tries to force you to change the path. And the final blessing given by the time is rejection, so that you can find your things.
My brother got married at the age of 45 after being rejected by some girls. He is living happy married life. He shares a story about how he felt when he was rejected. But now he is thankful for the time.
Yes, this may not sound practical, but in most cases, this happens.
5. Can be a Karmic Response as well
Karmic responses happen in life. Pending karma must be paid; if not, there will be consequences elsewhere. If you are the toxic one in a relationship and your partner tolerates your rejection, later, you may have to go through the same experience.
Whatever you think you are: strong, intelligent, rich, happy, and secure. There is someone superior to you. I am saying this based on my own experience. Sometimes we are rejected because we did the same to someone earlier, and now they want to make us feel the same way.
What do we learn after being rejected?
Rejection teaches you a lesson that you will not get from any expensive school or university. Here are some lessons:
1. Life doesn’t go according to plan.
One thing you will learn after being rejected is that life can be planned, but it may not work as expected. There are many hidden internal and external factors that make the situation imperfect. Sometimes you choose the wrong thing in good time; sometimes the best thing at the wrong time.
So, the only thing you can do is accept it and improve yourself for the next trial. You also learn that there is another life after rejection. There are more opportunities, especially waiting for you. Your obsession with something was only your expectations and ego.
Rejection also teaches you the meaning of life; how the universe system really works.
2. You are not superior.
Another lesson that rejection teaches is that ‘you may think you are king, but you are not.’ You are living in the system, a hierarchy, and there are many people who are superior to you.
You may think you know everything; you are perfect, but this is your biggest mistake. This mentality never lets you explore more, learn more, and progress in life. But when you are rejected by someone, you realize that you are nothing. When you start to think you are nothing, then you start to become everything.
3. Never give up
Only people with a strong ego can achieve something in life. That ego must connect with a goal, which I call the positive ego.
When you feel abandoned, your ego hurts, and it makes you unstoppable. After that, life becomes disciplined. You may make a new plan and work on it with new energy.
Since you had already tasted rejection, you worked hard on it. You want to prove that you are not the one who should be rejected or ignored.
So, you learn not to give up, find a life purpose, and become better after being rejected. But the only thing you need to do is take that experience warmly. There is life beyond that.
4. Need to strengthen weaknesses.
Oh my god, how is this possible? How can someone see me? How someone can ignore me? And How can someone throw me like this? Why am I not accepted?
This “How” and “Why” cook in the mind. Then you start to make a list of your weaknesses, the reason for not being accepted. After that, you work hard to strengthen your weaknesses; to turn them into a power. That power which will be accepted at any cost.
Yes, rejection may make you feel weak for a while, but it also helps you to locate your weak points. Who knows, his weakness is the strongest.
5. Too much is not good
Too much always hurts. It creates intense expectation in the heart. Since life doesn’t go as expected, hearts break with the same ratio.
So, after rejection, you will learn that your life should not depend on one thing. You should not consider someone or something for your whole life. Also, you should invest in what it requires.
You also learn to build yourself; you have flaws, which is why you were not accepted.
It is not the end; the real story begins after rejection.
In conclusion, although the feeling of being rejected is hurtful, you can learn valuable life lessons from it. These life lessons give you a new path for the new journey. When you walk on a new path, you will reach a new destination. But this time, your destination is where you wanted to be because the rejection made you wise and mindful.
Life doesn’t end in one rejection. In fact, real life begins after that.
If you are feeling down or have self-doubt due to this experience, stay quiet and try to learn something from it. It is just your psychological response. It is temporary. Keep it up, never give up.
1 thought on “I am rejected and learn something. Why and what did you learn?”