I will do it anyway, anyhow. You talk to yourself this way? But after a few hours, days, or weeks, you forget what you were talking about. You lose motivation so fast that your mind no longer remembers what you planned.
A fire burns in my body to keep up something till the end, but over time, my mind swings. I feel tired and lose interest suddenly, and at night I regret wasting the day.
Why does this happen? And what can be done to stay motivated until you finish what you start? Let’s discuss.
Reasons you lose motivation so fast
1. You don’t know what you want.
From childhood to getting a university degree, most of your decisions are made by your family. For example, you are admitted to a school, high school or even a university, and pick a particular subject.
Think for a while, did you do it because you wanted it? Till your teenage years, your parents influenced you; after that, your friends, spouse, and society.
If you think deeply, whatever you have done is to impress someone and to get positive validation. Indirectly!
Yes, indirectly, you have become a person who doesn’t know what you want from your life. You race not because you want to race, but because you are forced to race, and you keep racing until someone is fueling you; otherwise, you lose motivation quickly.
Your life may not be under your control. You may not have a life goal. When you don’t have a goal, you become inconsistent.
2. You are unaware of the worth of your work.
Motivation fades away quickly when you don’t understand the worth of things.
For example, most students do homework because they are afraid of punishment. They have no idea how much they can learn from their homework if they do it with interest.
It is necessary to ask a question: “Why am I doing this?”
I don’t have enough money. Will it help me earn enough?
I am a stranger. Will it help me to earn fame?
I am weak. Will it help me to stay fit?
I am mentally disturbed. Will it give me peace?
So on…
It is necessary to estimate the outcome of your action before starting. If you start something blindly, without calculating the profit, you may feel demotivated very fast.
You might have seen the agents convincing the customers to purchase an insurance policy. They explain all the benefits of purchasing it.
Whatever we do in our lives is to get something in return, and if you already have hints that it will fulfill your expectations, you will keep up with your work.
You may already know what you want in your life, but do you also know whether the routine you are following right now will fulfill your wants in the future?
Overall, a blind game passively disturbs your motivation.
3. Inner insecurity may be the reason: Pessimistic Mindset.
Whatever you do, you will either fail or succeed. Two feelings fight in the heart. The first is ‘it will be full of joy’ and the second is ‘it is a waste of time’. The first feeling keeps you motivated and makes you consistent, while the other negatively affects your mood.
For example, a group of 4 people decided to go on a trip. 3 members were happy because they focused on the positive side. Such as exploring a new place, new culture, and refreshment. However, one of them was not fully happy because he focused on one thing that took away all his motivation. That is ‘what if we have an accident?’
Inner insecurities and negative mindset kill motivation, making you indecisive. The pessimism swings your mind every hour, which doesn’t let you stay motivated.
You might have gone through difficult times in your life, such as failure, betrayal, trauma, or other accidents. These things make the person pessimistic.
Also, living in a toxic and unhealthy environment makes your mindset negative. Such as an unsupportive family, an irregular friend circle, and a noisy environment.
Think for yourself for a while: if a person doesn’t have good hope for the future, how can he be motivated and ambitious? If his mind has already made hypothetical and negative assumptions about future outcomes, then how can he be consistent?
4. External Motivation dies soon.
Once, my best friend asked me to join the gym. He explained all the activities we can do there and how good he feels all day after the morning workout. But I had no interest in the gym. Since he was my best friend, I decided to give him company and set a workout habit for myself. But after 3 days, all my motivation died because that was not my choice; I was just influenced.
When you hear motivational videos or hear your strength from someone else’s mouth, you feel superior for a while. You feel so energetic that you think you could crack the IPS exam in a day and climb Mount Everest in an hour. But that energy fades away like the wind.
This happens because of external influence.
5. You may seek a companion or a soulmate.
The habit of seeking a soulmate is the biggest reason you lose your motivation too early.
Sometimes we become so overdependent that we seek company to achieve our personal life goals. We seek companionship from a spouse, partner, family, friends, or even kids. We look for someone whose hobbies, interests, and life goals match ours. Also, we seek someone who will be emotionally available with us in any circumstances.
But the real, perfect, and selfless soulmates are only found in tales, movies, and novels. In real life, all people are in survival mode; they care for their own comfort, peace, and happiness. They are different entities and have their own life. They are happy if you can fulfill their demand. Yes, they may lend you a hand, but according to their time and mood.
Your mood may swing frequently if you seek too much assistance from them. When they are around you, talking politely or giving hope, you become unstoppable; otherwise, you feel lost.
What should be done to retain motivation?
1. Estimate the positive outcomes of your action. (Expectations=Results?)
You need motivation to get something, right? What you want to get is ‘Expectation’. And to fulfill your expectation, you will do something, and that something will give you a particular result. For example, if you study today, you will pass the exam with good marks.
So, to regain lost motivation, try to acknowledge whether your current actions will fulfill your future expectations.
For example, your goal is to become a professor. But you don’t know what the requirement is. Like, 10 years of teaching experience, publishing enough quality research papers, and a university degree.
Knowing the requirement is being conscious. If you are competent, you will surely become a professor. Now you will consistently work on your goal without losing motivation. Because you know, if you do this today, then tomorrow, you will have a dream career.
When you are almost sure, you keep going. When you act blindly, you become despondent fast.
2. Connect with optimistic people.
Have you ever experienced when you feel energetic and motivated, but hear these words:
You can’t do that. It is worthless. Better to quit and start something new. Can you? It is not a big deal, I can also do that.
These kinds of compliments directly touch the already struggling heart. We want to hear appreciation and congratulations. We seek verbal, mental, or physical support to keep up. But when these negative comments flow in the air, we feel down and lose motivation immediately. Apart from that, it also creates resentment in the heart, diverting focus elsewhere.
So, the best way to retain your motivation is to follow optimistic people who have emotional intelligence and understand pain and struggle.
3. Do it with a routine and do it slowly.
Following a healthy routine keeps your motivation alive for a long time. A healthy routine must include: early sleep habits, eating healthy food, working out (physical and Mental), rest, relaxation, and waking up early.
For example, when you go to the market, school, or anywhere, you follow a particular route. You reach there on time. Similarly, routine is also a part of your life journey. If you live with a perfect routine, you remain motivated. However, if you do things randomly, your energy fluctuates every day. Like, today you read 10 pages, but the next day you didn’t touch your book. Today you wake up at six am, but another day, at 7, and next at 10.
Apart from that, do things slowly.
For example, you are given a field. When you dig slowly and consistently, you can dig more without feeling tired. But when you put all your energy into the first 5 minutes, you will be completely exhausted.
The same theory applies everywhere.
When you are learning vocabulary, learn 10 or 20 words every day, revising 3 or 4 times a day. Instead of memorising 100 at once and feeling confused.
Divide your work and work from the start. Start with the 1st page; don’t jump directly to the middle. I am not just talking about reading books, but everything. 🙂
4. Stop seeking happiness in others; instead, be self-motivated
Yes, the acceptance enhances motivation while rejection gives mental sickness. Most of your happiness depends on others. For example, if your loved one is happy with your action, you do it. Let’s say your father wants you to study MBBS, and to make him happy, you enrolled in that course. Until your father is happy with you, you are happy and motivated; otherwise, you feel low.
But you must not have the hunger to be approved, accepted, and appreciated. Because in most cases, whoever the person is, they want you to do something for them. They keep motivating you until you are under their control. When you break one rule for your self-satisfaction, they will immediately pull all that motivation and make you helpless.
So, if you lose your motivation fast, let no one control you or pressure you without any physical, emotional, or financial support.
Work for yourself rather than doormating. Work to make yourself happy first, then prioritize others.
Real, unstoppable, and long-lasting motivation comes from within; from the mind, the heart, and the soul. Stop pleasing people because their warm response makes you secure. That security will fade away too quickly.
5. Accept that the initial days are boring.
Early days don’t show any clue as to what will happen next. The coming time may bring failure or success; pain or joy; excitement or disappointment. It feels like speculation.
It is normal to feel bored and have mood swings in the initial days of any initiative. And this is the significant test of your patience.
So, the person who accepts this fact can retain motivation until they reach their goal. The goal can be: adopting a new habit(discipline) or succeeding in a career.
Although you lose motivation, you feel lonely, monotonous, exhausted, or have no solid hope for a positive outcome, try to keep up with your routine. Trust in your action.
Let me give you an example;
A guy changed his school. In the initial days, he had no excitement to go to school. Because he had no friends, the teachers were new, the environment was new; everything was new.
His parents forced him to go. After a month of forceful attendance, he started to get ready for school by himself with excitement. Because he learned to adapt to that new environment.
Final Words: It is normal to feel demotivated fast.
Final Words: It is normal to feel demotivated fast.
Since the human mind accepts all the information from outside sources, it is completely normal to fluctuate in motivation and lose hope.
Our forecasting behaviour also doesn’t let us do things thoroughly. It is okay to predict with optimism, but most of us focus on pessimism.
However, the most powerful motivation doesn’t come from sweet words of parents, spouses, partners, friends, society, educational institutions, or motivational speakers. If your motivation comes only from the outside, it will remain temporary.
The real motivation comes from the inner heart.
‘I need it anyway, and I am ready to pay any cost to get it.
The day when you commit to yourself with this statement, you become like a flowing river that doesn’t stop until it meets the sea. The flowing river finds another way to reach the ocean; if anything, try to stop it.
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