I have reached my 30s, but I still have no goals in my life. No passions, no hobbies, no dreams and no experiences. I do everything randomly. Frequently, I change my job. Till now, I have quit 3 4 jobs in the middle way. My parents are frustrated due to my way of living. My spouse is also tired of me.
Having a goal is something different. You have a schedule, a plan about what to do next, your energy is invested in the right place, and you have productive people around you. Life is less monotonous; there is a hope for a result. Although there is fear of failure, there is happiness hidden in the corner of the heart.
However, the opposite happens when you have no goal or ambition. Life becomes undisciplined and chaotic. There is a lack of long-term worth and stability.
Why don’t you still a goal?
1. Still, you have not tested the honour.
Think for a while; did you win any prize in any competition? To win that prize, did you work hard? In your school, college, or society? Have you?
If you have won any award/prize, how did you feel at that time?
I hope it was a proud moment.
Most of the time, those who have won small awards in their early days have a solid goal in their life. Because they know how much happiness they get after getting appreciation for their success.
These people have a hunger for appreciation and respect.
However, if you have not tested such moments, you may not run for any particular thing in life.
2. You may be stuck for validation.
Seeking validation is poison. Why am I saying this? People are addicted to others’ opinions. Almost every youth wants to become something and do something. But they don’t work on it in real life because they don’t get expected validation. And finally, that passion decays in the mind.
Performer personality people have this issue. Before doing something, they want appreciation first. If they think people are happy for them, then they go on.
So, you are a person without goals in life; you may have an internal fear of being alone, neglected, and mocked.
3. You are ignoring your hobbies.
Every individual is born with a special quality, and that quality directs them toward a particular hobby. And that particular hobby can help to set a goal.
For example, my friend says, “I want to become a bodybuilder” because he is very interested in the gym. Another says, I want to become a professor. I like to share knowledge with many people.
In my opinion, if you identify your core hobby, you can become goal-oriented. Some people find a hobby in their 20s, and some are unable to in their 30s.
The sooner you identify your quality, the sooner you know who you are; the sooner your life will have goals and direction.
Do not underestimate your hobby.
4. Still, you don’t know the meaning of life.
There is no exact meaning of life. According to experience, people have different definitions.
But the overall definition is to live with prosperity without disturbing others.
Life is all about doing karma with a stable mindset. Mastering proficiency in one field. Working in one field until retirement.
You may see that most retired people are happier.
The rule is simple: time is limited, and you can’t travel to the past. If you have not yet gotten direction in your life, it means you don’t know the meaning of life or the value of time. Or maybe underestimating it.
6. Your life may be smooth
Many highly ambitious people come from difficult situations.
Do you know why?
Because they have seen scarcity. Scarcity of love; scarcity of money; scarcity of peace; scarcity of respect; scarcity of basic needs.
This scarcity forces them to think, ‘I will do something great, I will earn something I don’t have.’ Then they work hard.
But if you already have everything on the table, why will you give yourself mental pain?
When you have almost everything, then you are confused about ‘what do I need more?’
Your parents are earning enough money to fill your pocket. You have friends with whom you spend time. Your house is full of luxury. Then what do you want extra?
Why anyone will have goals to achieve something in life if he already has comfort?
6. You may be consuming someone’s identity.
Sometimes this happens;
You don’t have a self-made identity, but also many people respect and love you. They love and respect you because you are closely connected to someone who is worthy.
For example, children/friends,/partner of politicians, businessmen, celebrities, and other professionals.
You might have seen people roaming and showing pride by using the names of close members.
If you are among those who are popular by consuming others’ identities, then you may not have any goal in life.
It’s because everything is coming to you for free. It’s because you are getting free appreciation.
When the person gets something for free, he doesn’t want to struggle.
Think for a while, is this happening in your life? If yes, then it is time to make your worth rather than depending on others.
What to do if I have no goals in life?
Having no purpose gives you a feeling of being lost in life; therefore, you can consider these solutions to find direction:
1. Check your strength first
The worst part of human nature is to focus on the negative side of the coin.
The first words are always, ‘It is difficult, I can’t do it.’ ‘It will waste my time and effort.’
These negative thoughts arise when you have a goal that is unsuitable for you or doesn’t suit your personality.
But if you set a life goal based on your passion, hobby, interest, and personality, you can make it possible.
For example, you will surely become a great singer if your voice is good. You will surely become a doctor if you enjoy healing people. So on.
The only thing is that you need to work hard and you must have patience.
Therefore, it is necessary to check your inner strength and ability to know ‘for what you are born.’
2. Make a proper schedule and follow it.
Discipline and a proper schedule help you build a healthy mentality. Although you have no idea what to achieve in life, living with a healthy routine shows you a path.
Our generation of youth’s mentality is almost destroyed by social media, toxic relationships, and family problems. They overthink negatively till midnight, wake up late, eat unhealthy food, don’t meet with productive people, do no exercise, no workout, nothing.
Then they feel tired and unworthy the whole day.
Animals’ lives are better. At least animals follow one healthy discipline.
My suggestion is that:- If you don’t have goals in your 20s or 30s, you may be living a mentally suffering life. Therefore, make a routine and follow it.
Wake up early, stay hygienic, eat healthy, go out and get fresh air, talk with parents and help them, and engage in your hobby.
If only you would follow a healthy schedule for one or two months, you will find a purpose in your life.
3. Try to become stable in one place.
It is not easy to earn money, respect, and security. For this, you need to work hard, remaining in one location.
Here is a brief story:
A person desperately wanted money. He applied for a job in a microfinance company and got selected. That person wanted to work only for money, for pocket money and to fulfill other expenditures.
But over time, he started to show interest in this field. He understood many things while working there. The more he stayed, the more he learned, and his experience gave him a new purpose in life; a goal to be A class bank manager.
Nowadays, he works hard to get his dream job.
Yes, this happens.
So, to get the purpose in your life, try to be stable in one area. Changing your mind may leave you nowhere.
4. Realize that you can’t be dependent on others forever.
I already mentioned that if you are getting name, fame, respect, money, and basic needs from others for free, then you don’t want to set any goals.
But remember, time doesn’t stay the same.
You are enjoying it because they have it and are sharing it with you. What if, one day, your reputed person’s name is damaged? What if they might go bankrupt? What if they cut you off from their life? What if you no longer have a connection with them?
This may sound a bit hypothetical, but it may happen.
There is no 100% guarentee that you will be secured by them. People change.
Therefore, don’t let your life be controlled by others by consuming their tangible and intangible assets. Instead, think about doing something by yourself.
Even Amitabh Bachchan’s son may have goals, which is why he is not just enjoying his life by consuming his parental assets.
5. Travel and explore
Travelling and exploring new places is the best way to find the purpose of life.
If you still don’t know what to do in life, then travel, travel and travel.
You can get business ideas and professional direction by travelling to market areas. And to get a spiritual purpose, you need to visit places where people are struggling to survive. For example, villages and hospitals.
If you don’t have a budget for long-distance travel, book short trips. Every day, visit the market and visualize carefully what is happening.
One of the people started his own supply chain business after exploring the busiest market in New Delhi. He got the idea from there.
So, you may be purposeless in your 20s or 30s, because you may be living within boundaries. Now, it is time to break that boundary and explore what’s going on around the world.
6. You are not late
When you hit your 30s, your mindset doesn’t stay the same as it used to be. The reasons are past experiences, self-doubt and added responsibilities.
But it is never too late to start something.
You may have left something because you failed at it.
But you must understand that failure is the step to success.
The definition of failure is;
‘I am testing you. I am about to give you huge success, but I want to test whether you have the capacity to handle it or not.’
Most people quit due to failure and become aimless.
But I want to say, try again, do it again. Try 100 times. Don’t quit. Restart the same thing again, but with a different way, different energy.
Even if you are in your 40s, you are not too late. 🙂
Conclusion
An aimless life is not good. In the short term, you may enjoy it because someone is fulfilling your basic needs. But, in the long term, you may have to live a depressed life.
People who have goals in their life write their stories. Failure writes failure stories to tell others how not to fail. Successful people write success stories to tell how you can achieve your dream. But people without a goal in life don’t have any stories to share with kids, parents, friends and the world.
It is never too late to set a goal and work on it. If you find it difficult to go solo, try to search for people who will support your direction. This way, your journey will become more beautiful and secure.